I didnt have a problem with her until she lied to him and I dont like liars. Going out a lot is not necessarily the behavior of a totally healed, emotionally available person ready to positively sail into their future. Weirdly, is that he always appears where Ive been a few days before, for example if Ive gone somewhere, the few days after Id see him snapping the same place Ive been, he seems happy with his gf so i wonder why?Its not that i like him but i just hate him for leading me and cheating on me. He hasnt made a move on me yet but I know by the way he treats me, acts around me, and looks at me that theres something still there but he might be conflicted and unsure if we can make it work. While women tend to grieve and genuinely move on sooner, often men never do. At the same time I wish he would chase after me now but hes a guy and well they dont think the same. His ex wife (who he talked about a lot when we were dating). We talk for a few weeks but then my pride leads the convo back to us and he veers away (yes I know this was wrong of me but was before I saw your site!). Once I got my phone turned back on, he told me that he asked his ex wife if she had extra graduation tickets, he said she said no. a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old but he loves my lil girls just as much as i do. Hi Jenna, I would think hes used this as a get out card as he isnt happy. Does your ex mention how great they are doing at the gym? He feels tons of guilt, I know that. So if thats something you feel like you need, that's OK. Anything that shows theyre willing to put aside a big part of their day to talk to you means that they still care. We have small fights here and there but we always handled it well. Doing nothing right now is absolutely your best bet here, even though its literally the hardest thing. He told me multiple times a day how happy I made him and bragged to his family and friends about me and my kids that he referred to as our kids. Ultimately, this is all about the Ungettable mindset. She said she doesnt want to be w me or even see me again. Your ex maintains contact with you when they dont have to. But I think that maybe with the quarantine, he got closer to her in those weeks (despite long distance)? Since the break up we talk everyday we have become great friends and im ok with that. I want to stop feeling so much about it. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. This detached emotional reaction toward an ex is way different than passionate anger, sadness or much else. I was furious. They could be trying to make you jealous or at least get your attention. If you are in the middle of a no-contact rule when your ex is reaching out, then you should ignore him, unless he flat out says he wants you back. Will he ever think about me? My observations are based on real-life client success stories that I studied to pin down the exact behavioral changes people exhibit when they want their ex back- that is, the breakup isnt permanent. Thanks for your comment. When I first went to USA, things were going badly. We both also said the if it happened again in the future, neither would be opposed to it. He seems like hes rehashing the relationship where communication broke down. When people come to me for private coaching to get their ex back, the first things I ask them about their breakup or divorce are questions designed to find out whether there are signs their ex still loves them. Im a bit concerned that I dont feel like its progressing and I think I pushed getting back together too soon and was still emotional, but maybe it will take a lot longer than I expected, and Im not going to mention anything about getting back together for a little while longer. I told him I was deleting and blocking his phone number. He is a 34 year old KID who boke my heart. Money could be another explanation for why some people continue to act like a couple even after they have broken up. Im not sure about NC with him bc he will take it as I dont care and be done. My ex moved long distance, and we go through these phases of where Ill do no contact for 3-4 weeks and then he reaches out again. Decide. Not everythings so black & white, in the end if you want him back, you kinda have to be his friend first anyways or else you keep hurting yourself. I miss that mans guts sometimes, he is so successful and mature. Much farther from where I am. My ex called time on our marriage, i moved on quickly. I've been having ups and downs. You'll feel stronger and more empowered, and that can make it easier to deal with the emotions around the breakup. We still love each other and she still seems to want to spend time with me and support me. He has talked about the future of us getting back together and perhaps getting married. We see each other at our kids family gatherings for birthdays, holidays etc., and were very civil. One of the most challenging situations couples can face is a breakup. Since you had detoxed before seeing him, you stirred all of those chemical reactions back up when you went over to talk. Ive been dating this guy for about 8 months. But if you're not sure where your former relationship stands, here are some signs that your breakup could be only temporary. I just put on a brave face because I dont want to break down in front of him but all I really want to do is call him tell him how much I love him but I simply cant bear the thought of him rejectimg me. He told me he trust me and cares about me alot but he doesnt love me anymore. He doesnt talk about her except Ive asked and he says it is about to be done. I seen my future happy with him in it. Also, I forgot to mention that we do still live together and are going to therapy to be able to communicate. I havent talked to him since then which was about 5 days ago I havent texted or called him thats the longest we have ever gone without talking. The question to you is -should you say yes to meeting them? My boyfriend broke up with me. I dont kno what to do. But being civil, having catch up coffee, chatting im good with all of that. We broke up but still act like a couple- what it means: After a relationship ends, knowing how to act around your former partner can be difficult. This could involve staying in touch and communicating regularly with each other, or it could mean setting ground rules around our interactions. INSIDER spoke to therapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman to find out. When i went to his place to pack up my stuff, he cried so hard. Low to NC sounds good in your case since you need time to heal and seem so upset. Hes calling me a wh*re (even though Ive never cheated on him. I date girls a lot younger than me, i have more free time, i feel more peaceful in life, i get to pursue my hobbies, i sleep better, and im better off financially. However, a couple of events and interesting games at the ceremony stirs the forgotten emotions they had for each other. Contact If your ex is trying to contact you after a breakup. At the moment Im doing NC, just for self preservation and to help me move forward. he gave up so easily. My ex husband was not ready for the real world consequences of leaving his marriage so he had been moving slowly. you still dont want to trust me huh?. He came over to my house to tell me that he didnt think things would work out between us. Says hes confused because when he moved out he thought I didnt love him anymore. He moved out 4 mos. If your ex is really, really angry at you, that does not necessarily mean your ex hates you or doesnt love you anymore. Every relationship is different and you'll want to consider many factors before giving the relationship another shot post-apology. After talking to him about how I felt and him telling me that i have nothing worry about I dropped it. My ex broke up with me last month after only dating for one month. And it infuriates me. Its been a month since the breakup and I feel lonely. Theres no need to force things just enjoy being single and seeing where things go. These boundaries will help keep a sense of personal space. This allows us to remember and cherish the experiences we once shared together. We dont think that he can bear the separation. Why are we attracted to people who are so wrong for us. But nun of his friends like me or want him talking to me. But i also know i could get hurt if i assume but what option do i have ? At the end of the night, I was so drunk, I was stumbling. A break can help you realize how much you appreciate your partner. He broke up with me but still treats me like his girlfriend.. So what kind of hope do I have and what is your advice? Theyre depressed and dont know what to do with themselves, so they start sharing sad stuff on social media to tell the whole world theyre not doing well. I reached out to him and told him i should stop complaining to him. ( I had two days of this) ..hes rang my friends husbands numerous times asking what Im doing, who Im with, if I go out, got his sad sister to go through my Facebook to see who Im talking to, and gone through a male friends Facebook page too.Ive had phone calls where he questions what Ive said to people,or wether he will let me keep my car ( he pays for at the moment) its been a nightmare. This allows us to work through our issues civilly and respectfully. Its a solid sign your ex still loves you when exes friends get in touch with you for no good reason. Despite all the bad times, there were many good times. Its not that I only see dead ends for these relationships quite the contrary. I started complain to him a lot and he tried really hard to give me advice. Please help! Written hundreds of articles on divorce, child custody, employment and other human rights law topics for blogs and websites worldwide. Your ex might be over the moon about moving on one moment and incredibly sad and lonely the next. Sorry is that was long I would sincerely appreciate a response. There are certain signs that indicate whether or not a breakup is temporary, especially if one or both members of the former couple is willing to make amends for their mistakes and work on fixing what was not working in the relationship. He messaged me on Facebook and we spent some time catching up. You are still a significant part of his life, so its normal for someone to wonder whats going on and continue to be a little territorial. He tried to make me jealous by talking with our friends about which girls were texting him and I chimed in saying oh cool! I tried ringing my daughter last week whilst she was out with him, and he picked the phone up and started asking me so many questions.its tiresome,however I feel Im being hijacked,because I know that whilst hes with my daughter I cant just put the phone downthat just sends out the wrong message.,and I love her so much. This is a sign I see most of my clients going through. You should be aiming for meaningful and positive responses. He is the one who wanted out of our marriage. What if you you never really had a definite break up? I tell him to stop yelling at me and talk to me like an adult (which pisses him off even more) and he kicks me out of his house around 1 am. In fact, some research suggests that it may be possible to stay in love even after breaking up. He posts pictures and messages all the time, says he is so happy, yet he can't completely let go of me. This allows us to keep up with family traditions and cultural norms in our respective societies. What does matter - do you WANT a future? I jokingly said, see? I guarantee, he KNOWS you love him. We were always happy. Please help me with some answers because I am confused by his words and his actions. So, dont be shocked if you see all these conflicting messages and social media reactions from your ex. He doesnt get out till 2019. Your ex moves slowly on tying up any loose ends. Any help would be appreciatedplease tell me Im doing the right thing,as far as my daughter is concerned. But the thing is, he always offers to help me with financial even we never met each other, he helped me some money right after things went wrong. I wrote a short email and have basically said bye and started NC today. Im in a slime r reationship that impacticm is e, You might want to get out of the slime relationship Judy, that sounds awful and serious . Guys especially dont invest their time and energy into things with no payoff, like keeping in contact with you on the internet. But in July our skype frequency went down to once a week and he didnt contact me for two days at all. I spent 19 years with my ex, it was a good run, but its in the past. Then you have to take action before its too late. Does your ex offer to fix things, do things for you or share their resources (emotional, physical or financial) without being asked? He yells all I wanted to do was get laid by that girl tonight! He just doesnt want to even try now. Once that one-year mark hits, it can be extremely difficult to get your ex back using traditional strategies. I couldnt bring myself to say I wanted that to.. But Im not going to be in a triangle situation. We have both been very tense lately. Of course, they wont always be having three-hour chats with you, and they might even go away for a day or two. I thought it was ridiculous that he goes on social media to thank me and apologize for things not working out when he didnt thank me while he was over my house and he didnt even try to work anything out. We talked all the time. He has specifically told me that we are never going to get back together to later say that there might be a chance for it to happen. This was a man who idolised us,and Im not naive to say our relationship was great because it wasnt. He sends mixed signals and when I least expect it he congrats me like You should be proud! Hes helpful at times,but I feel like Im going mad. There's no consensus. But the real takeaway here is that it doesnt automatically mean something catastrophic about the relationship. Nothing like we used to and every once in awhile he calls me and we talk for like 5 or 6 hours straight. Im not worryed about anyone else snatching him hes stingy the minute he thinks your gonna ask for something he dissapears, hes Emotionless , Overly Sensitive, Self Centered, Controlling but your not allowed to know about anything he has going on. I got on facebook to change my relationship status to single and saw that he posted After a long conversation , I am now single. Can we still be friends? is one of those normal things that people say when they choose to breakup but in reality, this is not something you should cling to as a definite sign either way. Even if you knew that the relationship was in trouble, you never actually thought that a breakup was possibleyour significant other loved you too much to leave. Brendan is currently single and Sadies, Prom, My graduation is coming up.. Brendan is a Valedictorian and double majoring in Psychology & Criminal Justice. He says that they have been split since early 2014. A couple days later, I go over his house because we agreed to talk out everything so we can properly be friends with no hidden emotions. as well as other partner offers and accept our. . I stopped sleeping with him two years prior,making excuse after excuse because I just didnt fancy him any more. 5 days is NOTHING in breakup time. I am messing around as I am single but i also know that brendan told my wingman how its hard to see one another due to how he lives in the other side of town.. I dont deserve him.. yet i treated him worse than chris and he considers me his good friend? We broke up, but we still spend time together. Here intimacy means we remain emotionally close to each other. And the other part of me know how much he loves me and he said hes happy when hes with me. People dont usually look for an exes attention when they have completely fallen out of love unless they have a specific reason like the kids or a business. A situationship is when a couple is in an undefined relationship, where one or both people arent sure if they are officially together. I just want to be able to hang out with my friends and not worry if hes going to freak out on me even when I try to distance myself from him. In some cultures, we might still act like we are a couple even after we have broken up due to societal expectations. Yes, we realized 3 months in, broke up, got back together and stayed together for another 3 years, we were 18 so a dead-end relationship was fine. Though we have broken up, we might still act like we are a couple to cope with feelings of loneliness. We're still debating it. Could there still be a future? If there isnt a good reason, staying in touch with the people you love would be too painful or pointless for your ex to even bother with. Im not judging, just confused. Isnt this what youre stating you have a formula for? I dont know if he still seeing this girl outside work as 3 days ago he say he will stop and told her alreadybut as Im not with him I dont know also she is so young and I think using him not to be alone as first time in her life living alone think not much friends Please help me I do anything and pay anything just not sure about this no contact towards him if something else is possible than that will be great. Then decided to take this woman to our holiday home,and afew weeks later move in with her. He has told me he loves me a couple of times. And there are many reasons why people do this, but I will discuss the 12 most common ones in this blog post. Did your ex finally get off their ass and get a new job? Hi I was not the one to call or text. Archived. He told he loves my kids and thinks theyre great kids. Sign up for notifications from Insider! We share kids as well so id even do a joint movie or weekend taking them somewhere, but seriously, for me its entirely friend zone, im just not interested in ever coupling up again. So i thought everything is fine. He said he doesnt love her and he knows that there is no future, they fighting a lot and he said that they cant talk about serious things, that is no him and her.also few days ago when we met he told me that he told her not to contact him anymore. That leads me to the next point which is what your ex does after all those late nights out. You would most likely only be a passing curiosity and not inspire much of an extreme emotional reaction either way. Since they havent lived life without you, the unknown is scary. He still loves me and I am very important to him. One way to tell is by looking at how he treats you. After a breakup at first glance, staying friends with your ex in order to avoid tension and disagreements would appear logical. It can also mean we continue to attend the same events we used to attend as a couple. Way too many people, especially women, use sex as a tool and as a magnet for getting back with their ex. I wish I wasnt so scared of rejection.. If your ex was actually over your relationship, they would not have overshared as much in their new relationship. For me it is VERY painful, because this Man is the love of my life and I dont want to live without him..but sadly SHE is the love of HIS life. Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, Elizabeth Stones work has gone viral on Your Tango and Thought Catalog as well as been featured on EHarmony, Zoosk, Popsugar, The Good Men Project, Tiny Buddha, Bustle, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, She Knows, Minds Journal, Read Unwritten, Madame Noire, Digital Romance Inc. and many more. Problem with her all those late nights out grieve and genuinely move on sooner, often men never.... 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