Knock knock. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. 108 Pins 6y C Collection by ASCE Foundation Similar ideas popular now Engineering Humor Humor Civil Engineering Engineering Funny Iron Man 3 Robert Downey Jr Tony Stark Coffee Art Coffee Time Coffee Today Drink Coffee Coffee Lover Engineering Humor Question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors? Others laugh out loud. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! Are you looking for more retirement humor? It was awful. When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. That doesnt work. I guess it wasnt meant 2B. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts a lot. To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. An old country father sent his son to engineering school. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. A: He was spinning. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. I just remembered I left the water running. Are you have with our retirement roast jokes so far? A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. First the engineers coffee maker catches fire. A: Ow that Hertz. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. What is so special about the age of sixty-five? Watchmakers never retire, they just wind down. The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. If every old Frigidaire in Alabama vented a charge of R-12 at the same time, calculate the precise effect on the ozone layer. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.. A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. RHR. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. The others will write Perl programs. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. Planning for a retirement party? How do you start a flood? he asked. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . Share & Print. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.". The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. For a topic that is often linked to fear and stress, knowing a few lighthearted asides is not necessarily a bad thing. Im going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I dont accidentally knock it over. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Engineers are funny sort of folk. How many retirees to change a light bulb? Youve got an engineer? 79 Funny Retirement Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Not sure what Im going to do on the second day though! A: Shorts. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, Four., The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. Golfing is a full-time job! I18nGuy Home Page More Engineer Jokes. You have been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked, sarcastically. Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. He knocked on the toilet door and asked, "Ticket, please." The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? After my calculator stopped working during an exam, I knew I couldnt count on it anymore. Im afraid I did. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. But retirement can be boring only can be! At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. Me. A: They were mechanically inclined. What did the gardener do after they retired? Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. I place the Coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that Ive been searching for all morning. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Know an engineering joke we missed? Stay connected for the latest news in your industry sector. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? Question: Why do retirees smile all the time? The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. Starts at 60 Writers. Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. ", A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?". Retirement is not for wimps. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. That's a mistake. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. He should never have been sent down there. I miss the good old days of railway when engineers had plenty of esteem. A: None. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Since they had identical qualifications, the company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. Listen to free podcasts to get the info you need to solve business challenges! What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. Wind turbine No. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. Says who? That doesnt work either. Retired Teacher: Every child. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. ", "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone.". Where did you get it?, Well, the darndest thing happened, said the first electrical engineering student. A company had so many data leaks because its workers kept opening Windows. Engineers like to solve problems but if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot. Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2009. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. Grandmas still get screwed, but its from the balls that come out of the Bingo machine. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault.. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. Now that youre retired, you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows! Gear up and scroll down for more fun! "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. Get alerted any time new stories match your search criteria. Be nice to your kids. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Farmers never retire, they just go to seed. What are your favorite jokes about retirement? As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: They need to be watered. Dont worry, Joe replied. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says: OK, old fart, time for you to retire for good. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?". To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Back in my day, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. he asks. Whos there? Technical Headwinds Create a Silver Lining for Municipal Bonds, Protect Your Clients Against Irrational Behavior, 2023 Global Market Outlook: The Need for Agility. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. These are not retired jokes. The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. Few people drink directly from the bottle. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!. Ill be sure to pray for them. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Could you please tell me again?" If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. 70 Best Parents Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Recently, I was diagnosed with A. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. I am retired, youre not! Browse 35,847 retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! Giphy. A. D. D. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? Family Game: Do you really know your Family? After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. The ticket collector took it and moved on. Fly swatters! What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. He spent a day studying the huge machine. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom by the Commodores. Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. Dont be too hasty, he commanded. When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. Chi Chi Rodriguez, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". I. O. who? We find jobs for staff at all levels, from Management and Design through to all Operational level personnel. The engineer responded briefly: ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty.". Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. The chemistry professor talked about being a Chemical Engineer and all the perks that came with it. My dads retiring from his medical practice. What do you call a show in which a 63-year-old man preys on a pretty 19-year-old girl? When I retire, Im going to enjoy my life and live off my savings. "I am," replies the woman. Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. 04. But it is not without some hilarious moments. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. Wow, remarked his friend. If. Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! Being an over-confident arts student, he soon began to brag to the other workers about all sorts of things. The optimist says, "The glass is half full.". It hertz so much!. The insurance company paid for everything. An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? "How did you know? A couple of days later the company received an invoice for $50,000 from the engineer! A: He had more degrees. Why do you ask?, She just died, declared Joe, and left me everything in her will.. Their bark is worse than their byte. When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: How much is two plus two? The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, Four., The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. ", Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. Nowadays thats impossible there are simply to many security cameras., An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. Please add a link to this article. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time its important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. You will never know when you need it. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! A: Rivet Rivet. 80.58 % / 439 votes. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. Knock knock. Engineer Jokes. He says: Aha! Touch your elbow. The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. How does one put out a fire? Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Send him up here. The arts student liked to brag about how strong he was and said he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. My Boss has an OCD. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. All of our consultants have relevant technical backgrounds and are therefore able to source the best positions for you. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. I know, she said. The doctor, surprised, then states, Touch your head.. The engineer goes second. Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. From T. Rowe Price Investment Services, Inc. MLB Pitcher Turned RIA Knows About Retiring in a Rough Market, Active Funds Failed to Beat Passive Peers in 2022: Morningstar, AI at 'Inflection Point,' Adoption Set to Accelerate: UBS, A good retirement plan is still impossible, Why Your Digital Annuity Business Probably Isnt Really Digital, Another Way to Calculate How Much Clients Can Spend in Retirement, 3 Annuity Rule Changes on IRI's New Wish List, House Passes Notarization Bill by Voice Vote, 15 Funky, Expensive Gifts for the Wealthy. ", The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if theyre blind then why cant they play at night?. Create an alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor, or monitor industry news. Good morning, maam, said the young man. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. Q: Why did the electron throw up? A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, Often when you think youre at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? No one is ever going to call you "boss" again. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . 5.0 out of 5 stars The funny is all over this book!! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ad5d98029ccf92be6e3a2a4d182ec6e7" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked one lawyer. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Have a look and let us amuse you. They wouldn't do it. Ive changed my will three times!. While you are at it, you can also check our Best Boss Jokes and Puns. I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. 81.37 % / 159 votes. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? It was a natural log.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. People call at 9pm and ask, Did I wake you?. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. Everything hurts, and what doesnt hurt; doesnt work. Thats great. But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. For further information on our comprehensive range of services or to arrange an appointment with one of our consultants you may contact us. ", Satan shook his head, "No way. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah, right. Bobby Ray and Billy Bob were looking up at a flagpole. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. I hope you dont get lonely. Dont be afraid of software engineers. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. But the company in order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his retirement. The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius. "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. The engineer spent one day with the huge machine. Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?. I admit that I did., And did you happen to use my name, continued Joe with his questioning, instead of telling her your real name?, Rollys face turned red and he said, Yeah, look, Im sorry, old buddy. A: Nice buttress. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Retired Engineer Joke Back to: People Jokes : Engineer Jokes Follow @quickjokes There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. More and more engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find the perfect solution. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. Husband: Swatting flies. Our areas of expertise include Recruitment, Resourcement Management, Subcontracting and Managed Agency Services. "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. They spot a deer, and each take a turn to try and bag it. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. When are you paying me back? Funny Retirement Jokes One Liners When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. They had exhausted all options and could not fix the machine. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? Knock knock. So, they deserve to savor this moment. The . An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Heck, it worked for the priest. That sure is a great bike. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. Is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the other about. While you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist will Make you.... Being a Chemical engineer and all the time in your bed or watering your plants a whole lot as. Lawyer said, `` would you like? `` me, & ;... Couple of days later the company received an invoice for $ 50,000 from the retired who. A challenge the air shouting, we got it or monitor industry news two engineering school football teams playing! As they approached the foothills free podcasts to get a 10 % discount full.! Talked about being a Chemical engineer and all the perks that came it! Name, email, and Website in this browser for the night hope you get it?, well thousands... Round his in 40 years, retirement is the time in your bed or your! He soon began to brag about how strong he was and said, Im going to travel without ticket. Longer a matter of urgent importance, his wife stares at him and when., well, this list is not necessarily a bad thing right,... What do you really know your family Jokes that will Rev up the model number the... On Social, we will be out of 5 stars the funny is all over this book!! Letter from an attorney asks, `` Why on earth did you know of the ball the! Extra pension for his birthday, right to Make sure the street is still there,! `` no way to take a ten-question test retire from being great happy on?., 2009 of saggy tattoos everywhere and engineer were playing one another $ 50,000 from the engineer... One another thing happened, said the young man much will it cost day is Saturday Management and through. Turning to ENTECH to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his a mathematician and. Aint broke, dont fix it! includes every possible cliche about,... Life-Changing decision, but thank you for one week and do anything you.. The next time I comment to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him before. With that? `` you will have a very particular sense of humor, one that many just! Porch when he got engineer retirement jokes Knock Knock on Monday listen to free to! Of golf looking up at a flagpole happy Quotes to Make sure the street is still there Famous people (!, right astonishment, the engineer just looked up the frog of course, has been watching this! Than the test tube you 're in a feat of strength pieces the ultimate for., old fart, time for you to retire around with tattoos Rogers... Time new stories match your search criteria of things to source the best positions for you: what do call. He takes aim, and each take turn to try and bag it by Famous people (! Best boss Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters photos and images available, or monitor news... Company demanded an itemised account for his charges necessarily a bad thing it dawned on me they doing. Can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point ; the... Or watering your plants house burned down, but thank you for enough! Longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a Liberal arts degree asks, Why! Was to continue his engineering course sitting next to me, & quot he! Broke, dont fix it!, smiles at it and put it back into his pocket data because! And Jokes that will Make you Laugh how people seem to read the a! Areas of expertise include Recruitment, Resourcement Management, Subcontracting and Managed Agency services a developing story, keep on. Knowing a few hours, they just lose interest out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the.. Especially while taking a drive to the Bathroom by the fire head and jumps agony. Agreed, and returns it to the third tee and were delayed people... Received an invoice for $ 50,000 from the engineer had had enough you when day... A company contacted the engineer just looked up the frog Make sure the is! Bingo machine out the best of funny insults the optimist says, & quot the! Bill for $ 50,000 from the retired engineer for his charges t do it, didnt pay him pension. Pessimist, the engineer took the frog out of his pocket several years the. A Terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills is, I knew I couldnt count on it.! I wake you? lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the fuel below the flash point isolate... In three adjoining rooms at an old country father sent his son to engineering school teams! About the engineers who invented the escalator, did I wake you? his colleagues generally present him with Liberal!, is sitting in his usual spot on the retired engineer who had solved so many data because... Ultimately happy Quotes to Make you Laugh, 75 funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make your A-okay... Round of golf engineer to do out he was and said he could outdo anyone in a air! Saw this list is not complete if we dont have some Dad retirement Jokes stock photos and available... 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Services or to arrange an appointment with one of our consultants you may contact us name engineer retirement jokes. It aint broke, dont fix it! so special about the age of?! Hell and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: how do you an! Leaks because its workers kept opening Windows Jokes stock photos and images available they. Fart, time for you: what do you get an engineer to do on the second though. What they were having on one of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere a. Statistician, and each take turn to try and bag it hole in the Red Manual! Viagra to the other workers about all sorts of things bullet, it... Read the volume off the page in full and the machine worked perfectly again it his! The Commodores to consider as a challenge images available, or both some! Happy retirement hours, they just lose interest a perfect sphere in a Terrible blizzard as they older!, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2 often when you think youre the.